How to Coach Yourself: A Guide to Self-Coaching Success
Whether you realise it or not, you're always being coached—by someone else, or by yourself. And in business, just like in sports, coaching is the key to unlocking higher performance, overcoming blindspots, and pushing beyond your limits. But what if you don’t have a coach? How do you guide yourself to success? How do you stay accountable, motivated, and constantly improving? That’s what we’re diving into today.
The Reality of Constant Coaching
If you think about it, you’re always learning from the world around you. Senior leaders coach their teams. Professional athletes rely on coaches to refine their skills. And in business, the most effective way to grow is to receive structured feedback, guidance, and encouragement.
But what happens when you don’t have a coach? Maybe you don’t have the funds to invest in one right now. Maybe you’ve tried coaching before and felt it wasn’t the right fit. Or maybe you just haven’t found the right coach who resonates with you. Regardless of the reason, there are techniques you can use to coach yourself and still achieve significant personal and professional growth.
Step 1: Remove Negative Judgment
Many of us have a harsh inner critic. We second-guess our abilities, compare ourselves to others, and sometimes hold onto negative judgments from our past. But self-coaching starts with treating yourself with care and respect.
Instead of focusing on self-love, which can sometimes feel unattainable, focus on deferring negative judgment. When you find yourself being hard on yourself, pause. Acknowledge that your judgments may or may not be true, but they don’t need to be solved in the middle of the night. Just postponing harsh self-criticism can make a huge difference in your mindset.
Great coaches provide Unconditional Positive Regard—they believe in their clients even when they struggle to believe in themselves. You can give yourself this same gift by seeing yourself with compassion and treating your goals as important and worthy of pursuit.
Step 2: Tap Into Your Drive
Motivation is crucial when you’re coaching yourself. Without a coach to encourage you, you need to find internal and external sources of drive. Some of these include:
Positive inspiration: Learning from people who motivate you, whether they are mentors, historical figures, or colleagues.
Dark side energy: Using frustration, anger, or even pride as fuel in the short term to push through obstacles. While this energy isn’t sustainable long term, it can be incredibly powerful when needed.
Step 3: Set Non-Negotiable Goals
Goals can feel vague and aspirational. Instead, frame them as non-negotiable commitments.
Instead of saying, “I want to make $50K next month,” commit: “I will generate $50K next month, and here’s my clear plan to achieve it.”
Instead of dreaming about finishing a project, make it an unbreakable deadline.
When you coach yourself, it’s easy to let things slide because no one is holding you accountable. But if you set measurable, time-bound commitments, you create real stakes for your progress.
Step 4: Implement Relentlessly
Execution is where self-coaching becomes real. Take the actions needed to achieve your goals, even when it’s uncomfortable. Without a coach, there’s no one checking in on you—so you must check in on yourself. The discipline to follow through is what separates those who stay stuck from those who grow.
Step 5: Review & Reflect
One of the most powerful coaching tools is the Socratic method—a process of questioning to refine your thinking. You can use this on yourself by regularly asking:
What’s working?
What’s not working?
What assumptions am I making that might not be true?
How can I adjust my approach?
AI as a Self-Coaching Tool
AI tools like ChatGPT can serve as an external perspective when coaching yourself. They aren’t a replacement for human connection, but they can be useful for brainstorming, questioning assumptions, and structuring your thoughts. The key is to have a back-and-forth conversation, rather than simply asking for advice.
Self-Coaching vs. Having a Coach
While self-coaching builds independence and discipline, having a coach provides accountability, outside perspective, and tailored guidance. A great coach challenges you in ways you might not challenge yourself. But whether you have a coach or not, the responsibility for your growth always lies with you.
Final Thought: Your Next Step
You’ve taken the time to explore how to coach yourself, and that’s an incredible step forward. But even the most disciplined and driven individuals reach a point where external guidance can accelerate their progress. If you’re feeling ready to take the next step and work with a coach who can help you unlock new levels of success, accountability, and growth, now is the time to explore that option.
A coach doesn’t just push you to achieve more—they provide invaluable perspective, challenge you in ways you might not challenge yourself, and offer a structured path to your goals. You’ve already demonstrated the ability to show up for yourself; imagine what you could accomplish with expert support by your side.
If you’re serious about levelling up and want to explore how coaching could benefit you, let’s have a conversation. Learn more about how I help video production business owners like you reach their full potential.
To finish off, here’s a challenge for you:
What’s one commitment you can make today as your own coach?
Take five minutes right now and write down one clear, non-negotiable goal for this week.
Thanks for investing your time in this process. If you’re interested in the work I do to support video production business owners, head over to ryanspanger.com.